Aidilfitri 2011

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, maaf zahir dan batin.

After a few years feeling Eid has lost it’s glow, This year’s celebrations has been a truly wholesome one. I wouldn’t say any one factor was the reason, but more so a combination of a few. I find that this year, I’ve managed to touch base with most of the extended family, which gives me satisfaction – and a huge smile to boost.

Dad has just left for Africa, mum’s just had surgery, lil' bro is locked in his room (as always) and big bro’s still MIA, I find myself with time to reflect on the advices given, and the decisions made.

Of circles and trust

“It’s time for you to leave this circle, find a new one” – Azra Ayu Che Azni

Those words were uttered to me a couple of months ago. Azra relays her thoughts from the middle, then she gets her point across, and ends it with the beginning. At the time I wasn’t sure if she included herself in it or otherwise. To be fair, at the time I wasn’t sure of anything. But thinking positively, I heeded her words. I took my leave. But instead of finding a new circle, I decided to do without. That decision I took, turned into a blessing. Peace of mind was obtained as I no longer find myself torn or caught in the middle.

Of growing up and moving on

“You’ve got to let go, you know people will disappoint you, but you have a tendency to have too much faith in people” – Aina Liza

Also uttered to me a couple of month ago. Aina is one smart lady, she always has time to give out advice and will give you an ass whooping when needed, and then complains about having to do it. She urged me to stop caring about people even though I see them making the wrong decisions. She said that it is their lives to screw and I have no right to save them, even when asked to. I followed her advice, and sure enough, I find myself less stressed out with life.

Of socializing and social media

“You need to go out and meet people, social media isn’t socializing, stop being so busy” – Shukri Jamal

This was a few weeks before Ramadhan. Shuk is full of one-liners and sarcasm, but when it comes to getting a point across, no one can be as direct. He saw how I was slowly spending less time with people in person – preferring my online presence instead, and he called me out on it. It’s still something which I have difficulty in carrying out, but slowly and surely, I am spending less time online and more time with real people in the real world.

Of perfection and getting there

“I saw the old dude today, I just want to tell you not to turn back, you’re doing so well” – Izran Hisham

Quite a while ago, and after one of of those weekly Sunday Futsal sessions. Izran is my anchor, the one I trust to keep my feet firmly on the ground. For a person who’s always in the clouds and shooting for the stars, he’s presence is a comforting existence when the clouds turn grey and the stars fail to shine. When I embarked on this journey to ‘fix’ myself, I made sure to tell him to keep an eye on me. True enough, whenever I felt I was losing it, he kept me on track. Basically, I owe my sanity to him.

Of me, myself and I

To these four friends, I reserve a very special place. Know that I will forever be grateful for your guidance and your concerns, and will forever be indebted for your patience.

“Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, maaf zahir dan batin di atas segala kesusahan, keburukan, kesalahan, dan ke-kurang-hajar-an diri yang tak seberapa ini”

Ramadhan has gone for another year, and soon, so will Shawal. If I happen to be in this same exact place next year, I wouldn’t have much complaints.

For once, I feel I’m winning. =)

Adios!